Dissonance
First world problems
you cajole me.
Tempt me to stay
in my little domain,
safe and away
riddled with anxiety
and the porn of what I could have
what I should have
what I deserve to have
while I loan out pennies,
smug and self-assured,
in my disconnected little first world,
seeing how others do
proving that I do too.
Showing to sell
inviting to be seen
with all the bits and stuff
that demonstrate how I’m enough
just like them
just like you
just like Meghan Markle too.
But something small sits apart
crouched in sadness
desolate in the dark
it whispers in confused tears
how is it that I do not care
about things outside my first world
about the stories bravely told?
Why does it not resonate in my body, my being?
Am I aware of what I am really reading?
Am I not a part of it,
this problem
this disease?
My first world screams
it’s them not me.
This was inspired by a couple of conversations I had...one a friend and another a relative, both feeling disconnected from the world around them. One is well-read and regularly stays up-to-date with local and world news. I have always known her to be observant and compassionate, but her tank was empty. The other struggles with the force of her inner ambition in the face of her Christian upbringing. She is aware of the state of the world and wants to be successful more than anything else.